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about
Bradley Kincaid, my source for this song, grew up in the Cumberland foothills of east-central Kentucky and gained renown in the late 1920s as a radio star on the Chicago-based National Barn Dance, a northern precursor of the Grand Ol' Opry. Kincaid was best known for his mountain repertory. But he also sang time-worn sentimental and novelty pieces – “requested by the old folks,” he said. This one was from a comic operetta that ran on Broadway in the 1915-1916 season. Kincaid recorded it in 1933.
lyrics
In these days of indigestion, it’s oftentimes the question
As to what to eat and what to leave alone.
For every microbe and bacillus has a different way to kill us,
And in time they always claim us for their own.
There are germs of every kind in any food that you can find,
In the market or upon the bill of fare.
Drinking water’s just as risky as the so-called “deadly whiskey,”
And it’s often a mistake to breathe the air.
For some little bug is going to find you someday.
Some little bug will creep behind you someday.
And then he’ll send for his bug friends, and all your trouble ends,
Oh, some little bug is going to find you someday.
The inviting green cucumber, it’s most everybody’s number,
While the green corn has a system of its own.
And while the radish seems nutritious, its behavior is quite vicious,
And a doctor will be coming to your home.
Eating lobster, cooked or plain, is only flirting with ptomaine,
While and oyster sometimes has a lot to say,
And the clams we eat in chowder make the angels sing the louder
For they know that we’ll be with them right away.
♦ ♦ ♦
When cold storage vaults I visit, I can only say what is it,
Makes poor mortals fill their systems with such stuff.
Now, for breakfast prunes are dandy, if a stomach pump is handy,
And your doctor can be found quite soon enough.
Eat a plate of fine pigs’ knuckles and the headstone cutter chuckles,
While the grave-digger makes a note upon his cuff.
Eat that lovely red bologna and you’ll wear a wood kimono,
As your relatives start scrapping ’bout your stuff.
For some little bug is going to find you someday.
Some little bug will creep behind you someday.
Eat some juicy sliced pineapple and the sexton dusts the chapel,
Oh, some little bug is going to find you someday.
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